The Lancer

The Lancer

The Lancer

Celebrities catastrophic effect on the environment
Joseph Goodnight, Opinion Editor • March 27, 2024

With our current understanding of the climate crisis, it’s safe to say that everyone is trying to be more sustainable for the sake of the environment,...

Lancer-to-Los Robles volunteer system stays strong
Lancer-to-Los Robles volunteer system stays strong
Gemma Spraggins, Assistant News Editor • March 27, 2024

Los Robles Regional Medical Center benefits from the varied talents and experiences that volunteers offer, ranging from high school students...

Time T.O. Vote
Time T.O. Vote
Kailah Spencer, The Lancer Staff • March 27, 2024

Senior Maya Campo turns 18 in April, and she is ready to make her voice heard this November. As the presidential primary election nears, seniors...

Going Digital: The SAT’s New Normal
Going Digital: The SAT’s New Normal
Kailah Spencer, The Lancer Staff • March 27, 2024

Many Lancers students are familiar with the SAT; a paper test with over a hundred questions of varying difficulty. Now, CVUSD is introducing...

Around the Business Table
Around the Business Table
Julia Pineda-Dominguez, The Lancer Staff • March 27, 2024

The Majors program provides students with the opportunity to speak with mentors in many different careers. The program consists of monthly meetings...

Moreno heads to Washington
Moreno heads to Washington
Aandrea Pineda-Dominguez, News Editor • March 27, 2024

It was finally over. The bell gave its shrieking cry and off went hundreds of students to enjoy their freedom, at least for a moment. For...

TO Acorn With Permission
Lancers lose a forever friend
Jake Bradley, Sports Editor • March 27, 2024

Bill Gemberling has worn many hats at Thousand Oaks High: student, teacher, coach, sports announcer. But taxi driver? “I was one of (Brett...

Unexpected La Reina closure leads to transfers
Gemma Spraggins, Assistant News Editor • March 27, 2024

escribing how La Reina families felt upon receiving the news that their school, which opened its doors in 1964, will be closing at the end of...

New MegaMind TV and Movie Sequel Release
New MegaMind TV and Movie Sequel Release
Joseph Goodnight, Opinion Editor • February 20, 2024

In March of this year, Dreamworks is set to release a Peacock exclusive TV show and movie sequel to the beloved 2010 MegaMind movie. The trailer...

In Fastbreak Fashion
Jake Bradley, Sports Editor • February 14, 2024

Lancers lead the way in the second half. The Great Oak Wolfpack came into Thousand Oaks Tuesday night for the CIF quarterfinals and with them...

Perserving in Penalty’s
Jake Bradley, Sports Editor • February 14, 2024

The Lady Lancers traveled to a neutral site in Anaheim to take on the Katella Knights in the second round of the CIF-SS girls soccer playoffs....

Kanye - He's Back at it...or Maybe Not?
Elijah Brown, The Lancer Staff • February 14, 2024

Kanye West's new album “Vultures 1”, many nationwide were skeptical at first about Kanye's new album considering the controversies he has...

It’s Valentine’s, Baby
It’s Valentine’s, Baby
Momo Sonoda, Editor-In-Chief • February 14, 2024

St. Valentine’s Day commemorates the death of St. Valentine, but for others, the holiday marks a day of birth. Junior Chokee Weezer was born...

Health Science Majors Program hosts their senior showcase
Momo Sonoda, Editor-In-Chief • February 12, 2024

Last week, the seniors in Health Science Majors hosted a showcase, featuring various professions that they hope to pursue in the future. At the...

Advancing Again
Jake Bradley, Sports Editor • February 12, 2024

The Lancers left campus during lunch to travel to Temecula for their round two playoff game, and the ride wasn’t enough to stop the Lancers....

On the Job: Lancers at Work

On the Job: Lancers at Work

Outside of Thousand Oaks High School, many Lancers also hold part time jobs. We asked students on campus to share their stories with us. Here are some of the worst (and funniest) experiences Lancers have had while on the job.

I had to counsel a guy at a wedding because he was super hammered and contemplating his life and how sad it was. :^( – Anonymous, Senior

 Via Giphy.com

One time when I was teaching one of my younger students how to play guitar, he pooped his pants. The family upped my pay after that. – Johnny Guitar, Senior

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I work at Sports Academy and over the summer Shaquille O’Neal came in to train with his son. After his workout he tried to go into the chiro room chamber but he didn’t fit because he was too tall. -Lauren Tiffany, Senior

Over the summer I lifeguarded at the school pool. One day during swim lessons a kid pooped in the pool. We had to get everyone out, scoop out the poop with the net, and then shock it with chemicals. – Emma Faciane, Senior

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I work as a cashier at Panera Bread and I sold a guy a small cup of coffee, only I guess we were out of the coffee he wanted so he threw his credit card at me from the coffee station, demanded a refund, and walked out. He came back for the card like half an hour later. – Decaf Dictator, Senior

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I used to work at the 99¢ store, and every night I worked a lady would go to the front and ask for me by name and they would call me to the front. The lady would ask for two crates of grapes every other night and buy the two crates. One night I asked her what she does with all these grapes. She gave me a dirty look and said “It’s none of your business.” So she’s doing something really suspicious with eight crates of grapes a week. Let me emphasize crates, not bags. Crates of grapes, 20 bags per crate. Two crates every other day… eight crates a week… – Aaron St. Cyr, Junior

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During the summer a kid who couldn’t swim jumped into the pool. He started to go under and I had to jump in and pull him out. He was dumb and tried to get in again.  – Anonymous, Senior

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One of the first times I babysat the baby I watch, she was really sick and I had to change her diaper. I was dry heaving over the baby the entire time and threw up in my mouth. The baby was just staring at me. – Anonymous, Senior.

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On the Job: Lancers at Work